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Post by Grace101401 on Jan 24, 2004 15:35:27 GMT -5
There was this guy in my High school who started spreading this rumor about me saying that I was this girl who had slept with the entire football team because I used to go to that school and then I transfered and the real girl left that school too. But she didn't go to the school I transfered to. Anyways I was upset that some people actually believed that rumor.
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Post by Anonymous on Jan 24, 2004 15:54:54 GMT -5
Ok, I used to really like this guy and still kind of do. I always thought he liked me because he used to visit me at work and we'd sit together at church and he invited me to watch his band practice and then I ended up sort of in the band. We went to lunch together on my break once, HE TOOK ME FLYING IN A PRIVATE PLANE... and we went to dinner. He did that twice and we went and saw the fireworks together once on July, 4 and .....He invited me to lunch with his parents once. A lot of people in my church actually thought we were dating. But he never actually asked me to be his "girlfriend" and as far as I know he's still dating this girl now and they used to go to pre-marriage counseling and everything...but, and I'm not just saying this 'cause I don't want them to be together, they don't seem at all right for each other. They fight a lot not really bad fights but they don't agree on things and she was staying with him in his condo for a while and she had the place all cleanded up(he's a slob) and got new curtains and stuff and I think, while he liked the place being somewhat neater, he didn't like that she did that and he always complains aobut how he can't find his stuff now. Anyways well, I'm really shy and ever since I found out they were dating I have especially been kind of nervous aobut saying anything to him about how I feel. Also, I just want to mention that one time we were at his place practicing a song and I was talkinga bout how my cousin said he looked like someone famous and I was trying to think of who I thought he looked like and he said "Jouaquin Phoenix?" and I said no I think he's ugly and he said people thought he looked like him and I felt kind of bad but he also said that he really liked this one actress, I can't remember who and I said "And I look like her right?" Just joking around and he said yes. also, sorry for rambling but one time I got my hair cut really short and I walked into church and went to where he was sitting and stood there waiting for him to move over so I could sit and he looked up at me and said "WOW!" So from everythng I've just told you it sounds lke he really lkes me right? And I really don't think he is a player so I don't think he was just doing all these things to "play" me or whatever. But I'm confused about if he really did or does like me because he has never tried to kiss me or hold my hand or anythin glike that and he also one time started always talking about how "old" he is like he's just so old and it made me feel like he was trying to tell me he thinks I'm too young or he's too old for me 'cause he's about 10 years older than me. But I just don't know what to do and I don't know if he's still dating that other girl.
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Post by elysium on Jan 26, 2004 12:58:44 GMT -5
Problem: I think Harry Potter is like the best thing ever, but my friends think that I get really annoying because I keep talking about it and I get crazy. I don't really have any friends who like to talk about Harry Potter. I don't want to lose my friends or Harry Potter. I'm so confused!!!What should I do?? P.S.-I try to not talk about Harry Potter around my friends, but it's hard not to. Well first of all, you belong to a HP community (this one) so obviously you have SOME friends that like HP But yes, I see what you mean. Well, I only have one friend who likes HP, and all our other friends make fun of us. I know when you're really into something, it's hard not to talk about it constantly; I know Prongs is soooo sick of hearing me go on about Orlando, but geeze he's hott! All I can say is try as hard as you can to contain yourself. If your friends have no interest in what you're saying but you keep talking anyways, you're going to be pretty lonely before long. Just remember that your friends ALWAYS come before HP; HP is a book, but your friends are real.
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Post by elysium on Jan 26, 2004 22:58:52 GMT -5
Okay, now for Anonymous: It seems to me that it's this guy that is the confused one. His actions are most definitely indicative of someone who has feelings for you; then again, it seemed when I read your post that these things had happened in the past, and that he was now with someone new. If that is the case, then I'm sorry to say it appears he has moved on. Granted, you'd think he would have spoken of his feelings at the time, but my guess is that he would have felt guilty engaging you in a serious relationship when you are so much younger than him (sorry, I don't know how old you are). It could be that he decided he doesn't want to tie you down, and so is instead seeing someone more his age. Whatever the case, you really need to speak to him. Having feelings for someone like this and not expressing them is a painful, hurtful thing, and it can only be resolved by you telling him how you feel, whatever the outcome, good or bad. If he's still seeing this other girl, you might not want to just come out and say "I'm in love with you and I want you to dump so and so." You need to get some time alone with him and ask him if he honestly ever had feelings for you. You might be surprised at what he says. I know you're afraid of rejection, it's natural, but even if this guy doesn't love you, it seems that he really cares about you and wouldn't want to hurt you; so talk to him.
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Post by *~Ginny~* on Jan 29, 2004 20:22:53 GMT -5
thanks elysium!!! ;D
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Post by elysium on Jan 30, 2004 8:17:04 GMT -5
You're very welcome.
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Post by elysium on Feb 2, 2004 12:33:56 GMT -5
This is weird...the page numbers aren't coming up anymore and it doesn't say how many replies there are. How odd....
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Post by eliana on Feb 2, 2004 13:02:42 GMT -5
Dear elysium, I have a friend named bruce whose girlfriend is cheating on him. I've tried to tell him that I do not trust her to hint something but he insists she's a good person. so far, 3 different people have told me to tell Bruce about her cheating. I want to tell him, but he'll think I'm just being jealous or that i don't want to see him happy. Should i confront his girlfriend or Bruce himself?
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Post by elysium on Feb 4, 2004 8:53:01 GMT -5
Definitely the girlfriend. Have you actually seen her cheating on Bruce, or is this a suspicion or rumor? You know how "gossip folks" can be. When you go to speak to her, speak to her as a friend of Bruce, not an accuser. Tell her that you know what she's doing (if, in fact you do) and that you want her to stop hurting your friend. If you don't know for certain, ask her about it. If you know for sure and she still won't admit it, then the best you can do is be there for Bruce when he discovers his girlfriend is a cheating (expletive deleted). I doubt whether he'll believe anyone over her without proof; when you really adore someone, you're convinced they do no wrong. So don't be offended when he doesn't believe you, and be there for him when he needs you.
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Post by elysium on Feb 15, 2004 17:14:52 GMT -5
Aww...not even one confused person for Valentine's Day. I guess that's a good thing, but still....I think I'm getting a jealousy problem with everyone going to OTHER PEOPLE for advice. I am sooo not bitter....
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Post by elysium on Mar 5, 2004 19:51:55 GMT -5
You know, I'm thinking about CREATING problems just so I have something to do...nah, j/k. When you're happy, I'm happy and all that good stuff.
Don't be shy, step right up! Trust me, there is nothing you can say that hasn't happened to me...mean friends, weird boyfriends, getting dumped....actually, not the getting dumped one because I've never been dumped before. OMG, why did I just say that?? Now it's going to happen! Damn!
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Post by elysium on Mar 25, 2004 23:26:17 GMT -5
Fantasyfan1 wrote:
I'm having friend troubles right now. I'm basically in a group of 5 people, all of whom I really care about- 2 guys, 3 girls. (I'm going to abbreviate names with letters because its easier). There's my best friend, M, who really is not as outspoken as I am, but i can basically talk to her about everything. Then there'sO, who i'm also very close to, but she has another group she's apart of, so she's always really really busy, but i can always count on her. Then there's T, who is kinda quiet and i really don't know what he's thinking ever and he doesn't like to cause waves, which is frustrating because he's like not honest with me, but i guess i've gotten used to it. And finally there's G, who's probably one of my best guy friends, and he's very extroverted when you first meet him, but as you get to know him you find out he's actually really insecure. Anyway, so I've been super good friends with these people ever since entering high school, say a year and a half now. We've had our ups and downs and traumatic moments, but I thought we basically could get through anything.
This is where the problems begin. First off, T got mad at me over a stupid school assignment, so much so I was crying about it for a period, and neither T nor G even so much as noticed or comforted me until an hour later which just completely pissed me off. But then, as always, I forgot my fury (and my pride) and did what I could to smooth things over, and things seemed to be getting better. However, then, G lied to M and O, which made them mad, a lie that specifically concerned me, but I didn't get mad about it because I know that getting mad at G over it wouldn't do any good, and he was stressed out with finals on top of it, so I decided not to make a big deal about it, because underneath it all, I just wanted to be happy and move on with my life. Then ontop of this, T keeps on acting like he doesn't want to be friends with me, M, and O anymore, which is frustrating because we don't know what we did. He doesn't instant message any of us, and when we make plans, he comes up with excuses not to come. As much as I would love to approach him about it, confrontation just makes him REALLY nervous and he won't give me a straight answer so I'm further from the truth then I was before. Then O and G got into another fight because G won't apologize for being an ass to O, and on top of that, G is now pissed at the greater part of our surrounding social. On top of this, M wants to basically give up on this group and try to merge ourselves into another group. G is trying to figure out if his loyalties lie with T (because they've been friends since elementary school) or with me, O, and M, though we don't think we did anything wrong. Then we were supposed to all go to the city tomorrow and hang out, but now both T and G aren't going for lame excuses, when they basically were the ones we were trying to figure out where we stood with them.
Basically, I feel like I'm at a crossroads with some of my friends and I don't know why or how, and I don't like that this little world I created for myself is suddenly crashing down.
A lot of this could have been the stress of finals; I'm not sure. I'm just really stressed out about it because I don't feel like haphazardly lose a few of my really good friends when my birthday is less than a month away. If you guys could offer any words of comfort or advice, its appreciated, and I'll try to get back to essay writing next time or give you an update on this lovely issue when a resolution for the good or the bad seems to arise.
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Post by elysium on Mar 26, 2004 0:02:56 GMT -5
The problem with groups is, you're basically throwing together a bunch of very diverse, hormonial teenagers by circumstance and expecting them to be friends. Groups are hard because someone may be so and so's friend and you don't like them, but you don't want to offend so and so, so you end up hanging out with people you really don't like all that well, just because of circumstance. Enough of it already! Groups are pointless and cliquey (probably not a word) and cause so much confusion. Just be friends with the people you like and simply good acquaintances with those you don't. The thing is, along with finals and high school and two numbers in your age comes difficult times. Challenges, things you've never faced before. Everyone around you is going through the age where they don't know who they are or what they want out of life, and it's frustrating. People keep telling you, pick a college, pick a future, get on track; but how can you prepare for a journey when you don't know where you're going or even where you WANT to go?? It's frustrating. So when it comes to friends in high school, because we all still don't really know who we are, we haven't decided what sort of people we want around us, to influence us. Don't be surprised when you suddenly look at your friends and realize, "I don't connect with them anymore." It simply seems to me that is what T is going through right now. It's sad, and change is hard, but you just have to let go and concentrate on finding out who you are and what you want out of life. You just have to do what you feel is best for you and concentrate on that. It hurts when our friends say rude things to us; those are the people we trust the most, and if they don't accept us, who will? Just remember that everyone (ESPECIALLY hormonial teenagers) says things they don't really mean. Keep that in mind, and forgive your friends. If it becomes a repeating process, realize that your friends are most likely no longer your friends and move on. It's hard, it hurts, but it's what's best for you, and that's what you need to concentrate on. It does always seem to be crashing down on us, doesn't it? Just take heart in the fact that you're not the only one that feels that way; everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle. I hope that helps.
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Post by elysium on May 19, 2004 8:09:36 GMT -5
I fixed it so you can reply again. Sorry it took so long. Now ask away!
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Post by ducklvr114 on Jun 2, 2004 17:29:41 GMT -5
r u still here i could use sum advise right about now
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