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Post by elysium on Oct 8, 2003 15:01:45 GMT -5
Of course I can help! Just a note: anyone else using fake names can please use ones that start with different letters First of all, you should talk to Betty. I know this isn't what you want to hear, but the reason she broke up with Bob is probably because she isn't going to keep on going out with him just to make Bert happy. If she broke up with him for you, or for Bert is what you should find out. If she still likes Bert, then maybe you should look at your relationship with him and decide whether Betty is worth fighting over. If she likes you, you should still do the same thing. If she likes Bert, then maybe it's a good idea just to keep quiet about your feelings. It will be excruciating, I know, but love hurts. It's a cliche, but only because it's true. If she likes you, and you decide that she's worth it, you should talk to Bob and see if he would be hurt by you going out with his ex. In any case, he'll still have feelings for her, so you should at least wait a little while before you ask her out. If he gets angry then you should have her talk to him too. He'll probably be ok about it after she explains why she broke up with him and all that. I get the feeling that Bert doesn't like Betty at all, so if she asks him out and he says no, you can wait a while and ask her out yourself. Wouldn't that be waay easier? Of course, there's always the chance that Betty likes soem guy none of you even know, so.... if that happens, come back for more advice ;D
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Shyguy
New Member
Practice makes perfect. Perfection is impossible. Why try?
Posts: 44
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Post by Shyguy on Oct 8, 2003 16:12:40 GMT -5
I have a problem with girls. As my title says, I am a shy guy. I think I have a pretty good personality and I can pretty much get along with everybody but I just can't talk to the girl that I like. She is the best kept secret ever. She is beautiful, smart, sensible, and a good person over all. She isn't popular but she isn't shunned either. I noticed her when I accidentaly heard her admit to her best friend that she felt very shy at times. I feel shy every time I talk to her, and I think she sorta feels shy around me to. I want to get to know her better. She never went out with anybody before. I don't know what to do or say. I just.... I get really nervous and my voice raises a half an octive when I talk to her. What can I do? I have tried talking in the mirror, talking to my dog, and I even went up to a complete stranger and shook their hand to try and get over my shyness. Why can't I talk to this amazing girl that makes my day better and brighter?
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Post by elysium on Oct 8, 2003 16:38:04 GMT -5
Wow... you have got to be the nicest guy ever....
Shyness is something that most people have, to be honest. It's just that some people are better at disguising it. Have you ever noticed how the class clown is always talking and getting in trouble? Those kind of people are almost always extra shy or very insecure. I would say that if shyness is a part of who you are, great; it makes you unique. But if it interferes with your social life and keeps you from doing things you really want, that's when it's a problem. In fact, some people have social anxiety, a very very serious kind of shyness. I think that you must not be that bad, if you're willing to try and "come out of your shell". I mean, you shook a stranger's hand, right? Even I probably wouldn't do that, and I'm one of those annoying loud people. Here are some ways to get over your shyness and talk to this amazing girl (or goddess, as she sounds):
1. Figure out why you're so shy. What exactly is so scary about meeting people, or talking to them? Think about when you shook that person's hand, or your first day of school. You were terrified. You thought you were going to die on the spot, right? But you're still alive; you're perfectly fine. If you talk to this girl, what's the worst that can happen? You'll say something stupid? Even if you do, she'll probably be so nervous herself that she won't even notice. So just take a deep breath, and say Hi to her. She most likely won't bite you.
2. Find common ground. I really really liked this guy at my school, and I found out he really likes football, so I talked to him about how I love soccer. Instant relationship. Another good way is to ask her a question. I needed an excuse to talk to him one day, so I asked him something about some girl in his grade. Asking a question is a good way to start a conversation. It's not awkward.
3. Be bold for once. Like I had no idea if this guy liked me; he kept sending mixed messages. Then one day on the bus, he just sat with me out of the blue and we started talking. Just go and sit next to her and tell her you've been wanting to talk to her. DON'T chicken out!! Trust me, you'll THANK me.
ABOVE ALL, REMEMBER THIS: Which is worse, for her to turn you down, or for you to go on never knowing if she likes you until you run into her and her husband 10 years later and she tells you she had a crush on you in school? SEIZE THE DAY!! She could move away tomorrow, never knowing how you feel, or she may be disappointed that you never asked her out and go out with someone else instead. So go for it!!!
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Post by elysium on Oct 13, 2003 7:14:17 GMT -5
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Post by elysium on Oct 16, 2003 7:23:33 GMT -5
I got an e-mail asking what kind of computer is the best in terms of economy, design, and effeciency. Not knowing much about computers, can anyone help me here?
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Post by Dr. Toodles on Oct 16, 2003 12:24:37 GMT -5
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Post by Hermione Potter on Oct 16, 2003 15:41:02 GMT -5
yup yup!! ;D
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Post by HPF on Oct 18, 2003 4:13:53 GMT -5
Someone I know, lets call her Jill, recently got asked out bu a boy no one really likes, lets call him Jack. She said no, because she hates him and she's already going out without someone else, lets call him by his nickname, Maggot. Now Jack has been spreading rumors that Jill said that she would go out him, but they would have to wait a while until she dumped Maggot. This is a total lie, and Jill is really upset about it, so she's been taking classes with other teachers so she doesn't have to face the humiliation of being asked over and over again if she's going out with Jack. I want to help her, but I don't know what to do. Help me, please.
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Post by Alison on Oct 18, 2003 12:25:20 GMT -5
Hi, you've been giving really good advice...can you help me?
Since Halloween is on a Friday this year, and I am getting a little old for trick-or-treating, I wanted to have a party instead. So yesterday I was making up the invites, and my Mom said I could only have a kind of small party, so I could only invite my closest friends. One of my closest frinds is a guy, and I started to write him down. But the truth is that I don't have any other close friends that are guys! I think he'll feel weird if he's the only guy there. I asked my Mom if I could have a larger party, to invite more guys so he wouldn't feel awkward, but she said no. I don't want to not invite him, because I can't hurt his feelings. But I don't want to invite some guy friends of his when I could invite some of my girlfriends. What should I do?
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Post by elysium on Oct 18, 2003 13:49:40 GMT -5
To HPForever:
First of all, does Jack know what he's doing is called slander, and is considered illegal? It's also called harrassment, which is illegal as well. If it's causing her stress, and interfering with her relationships, then she should tell someone. Tell Jill that she can't let Jack force her to change all her classes because of him; he's most likely only doing this to get attention. OR, it could be a misunderstanding. Maybe he really doesthink that Jill is going to break up with Maggot for him. In that case, she should tell him personally once and for all that she doesn't like him and never will. He sounds a little obsessed to me. The best thing you can do is to go to the school counselor or principle and let them know that Jill is being harrassed and doesn't feel comfortable in her environment. I think if the principle has to talk to Jack, he'll get embarrassed and stop spreading lies. Also, make sure Jill isn't just too worried about what people think about her, because you can't get anything done in life if you're always worried about what people think of you. Maybe if you guys just ignore him, he'll leave her alone; guys who annoy you only want attention, even if it's negative.
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Post by elysium on Oct 18, 2003 13:58:51 GMT -5
To Alison:
First of all, let your friend know that you really want him to come to your party. Tell him about your situation. After all, a lot of the guys I know would love to go to a party where they're the only guy. If he really wants to come, but would feel too awkward, your best bet would be to just invite one of his guy friends and then for the rest invite girls. If he still feels too awkward, at least let him know that you wanted him to be there. But hey, if you wanted you could just make it specifically an "all-girls" party. That way you wouldn't have to hurt his feelings by not inviting him, and yu could invite all your girlfriends. I think just knowing that you wanted him to be there will make sure he doesn't feel bad about not going to your party.
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Post by HPF on Oct 18, 2003 13:59:47 GMT -5
Thanks. I'll try that.
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Post by elysium on Oct 18, 2003 14:03:34 GMT -5
Your welcome . Let me know how it works, I haven't had feedback yet.
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Post by Hermione Potter on Oct 20, 2003 18:03:53 GMT -5
feedback?
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Post by elysium on Oct 21, 2003 7:25:54 GMT -5
Yeah, I mean, no one has ever told me yet if the advice even worked....
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