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Post by ~*~SONYA~*~ on Dec 7, 2003 22:27:08 GMT -5
volde gets scared and cowers against the door
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Post by HikariHeart on Dec 7, 2003 23:23:12 GMT -5
In the Cadillac:
Harry: You're scared of cheese pizzas? Volde: No....she messed up and said ONION!!! *screams* Herm: *laughs* It was the wrong number. *calls up the pizza place* Yes, we'd like two large cheese pizzas. Harry: We only need one. Herm: The second one's for us. Volde: mmm...cheese pizza... Herm: Yes, thank you bye. *hangs up* Harry: How are we going to pay? Herm: we'll just have Volde kill the deliverer again. Volde: *smiles* I like killing. Harry/Herm: We know. Harry: So, while we wait for our pizza, does anyone know where we need to go for our third item? Herm: We need to find Atlantis...So it's probably in the Atlantic Ocean somewhere. Volde: The map is at Hogwarts. Harry/Herm: *blinks* How did you know that? Volde: *shrugs* I found it when I was there. Harry: So, after the pizza shows up, we head to Hogwarts. Volde/Herm: Fun...
At the Order's hide out:
Dumbledore: I have called you all today because we know that Volde is heading to Hogwarts. Molly: HOGWARTS?! Is he going to kill Harry? Dumble: Actually, no. He's going there to get the map to the Atlantis Arthur: Why would he need the map to Atlantis? Remus: He probably wants to find Atlantis. Bill: But that makes no sense, why would he need to find Atlantis? Snape: He doesn't. Charlie: Then why is he going to get the map? Snape: Because he wants to find Atlantis. Charlie: But you just said... Snape: That he didn't NEED to find Atlantis, just that he wants too. Arthur: Then why does he want to find Atlantis. Dumble: He's helping pseudo-Harry and Herm. Everyone besides Dumble & Snape: What?! Remus: Why is he helping pseudo-Harry and Herm?! Snape: He's bored, his Death Eaters are on Holiday vacation. Arthur: I didn't know that took vacations. Snape: They don't. Molly: But you just said...
Snape: "Vacation" is when they try to cover up family problems and make plans. Molly: Oh... Dumble: Plus, pseudo-Harry owes Volde money. Arthur: But why is Herm helping Volde? Snape: She isn't. Arthur: But you just said... Snape: I said Volde was helping Herm. Arthur: Okay...so then, why is Herm helping pseudo-Harry. Snape: She believes that pseudo-Harry really is Harry. Remus: That poor girl. We have to save her. Pseudo-Harry must have put her under a spell or something. Dumble: Most likely. Charlie: But what is pseudo-Harry doing that requires the help of Herm and the Dark Lord? Dumble: That is why I have called you all here. Snape: pseudo-Harry insulted the great JKR and in return for not killing him, he is doing 14 Quests. Molly: So he's doing errands for her? Dumble: Right, but if he does not complete all 14. JKR will kill him. Snape: Which leaves us in our predicament. If we try to stop pseudo-Harry from completing these 14 tasks, then we can rid ourselves of him, but JKR might be more than slightly pissed that we kept her errands from being done. Everyone looks at everyone else. Charlie: I purpose that we call upon JKR for guidance. Maybe she'll tell us ahead of time if she'd kill us for interfering. Remus: And risk getting killed for calling on her? The room went silent. Remus: But we really don't have any choice do we? Everyone except Remus: No. Dumble: Then it's decided. The Order shall call upon the Great JKR.
In the Cave: Ron: Okay. Harry's faced a Dragon before...so I can. *hears noises down the tunnel he's in* But he's never faced the KING OF DRAGON'S BEFORE!...I am so dead…so very dead. *continues hearing noises that grow louder* Ron, why do you always get yourself into this stuff. *What ever is causing the noise is very, very close, and he's shaking with fear* I can do this. If I do, I'll become more famous than Harry. *comes to the entrance of the tunnel where the noise is coming from* I can do this...*enters and finds Percy tied up in a chair* Percy: *is making noises because he's tied and gagged to a chair* MMMMM! MMMMM! MMMMMM! Ron: PERCY!!!! Do you have any earthly idea what how much you scared me! *rants on*
At the Cadillac: The Pizza Deliveryman arrives.
Volde: AVADA KEDARVA! PD: *dies* Volde: *grabs the two large pizzas* Got them. *gets back into the car* Harry: Finally. Herm: *hands out pieces of the pizza* Doesn't it smell good? Volde: *with his mouth full* vry mch!
Five Hours Later At the Cave:
Percy: *snores* Ron: And do you have any earthly idea what it's like to be best friends to Harry? It's Harry this and Harry that...Then Harry used to be like "I don't want to be famous. I never asked to be famous, I'm just doing what I have to do. It's not my fault that Volde wants to kill me." And now he's all like "I'm famous! Look at me! I'm famous! I'm the only one who can defeat Volde! Yeah look at me!" *rips the tape off of Percy's mouth* Percy: *wakes up* OW! Ron: And the change was like *snaps*. One minute he was Harry! Now he's a tottally different...person. OMG! Harry's Barry! The Harry we sent to St. Mungos was Harry! The Harry at Hogwarts is really Barry! Percy: Wow...it took you this long to figure it out? Ron: HEY! You didn't even figure out! I had to tell you. Percy: I haven't even talked to Harry since the whole Chuck E Cheese incident. Remember? I work with the Ministry! Had a fight with Dad, left the family? Think Harry's insane? Ron: Oh yeah...DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU DID?!
Six Hours Later:
Ron: And that letter you sent me! COULD YOU BE ANYMORE STUCK UP! Come on!
Ten hours later:
Percy: You done yet? Ron: yeah...I think I am. So, how did you get here? Percy: Group of rabid fans attacked the Ministry. Fudge was in some tunnel further down, but he got himself eaten by King Dragon several days ago. Ron: Oh yeah...I have to kill that King. Percy: Lovely. Ron: Isn't it? BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! Ron: Crap The King Dragon enters Ron: uuum…AVADA KEDARVA!!! *Shoots a green light at the King Dragon, but the spell bounces back and barely misses Ron* Percy: YOU IDIOT! Don't you know Dragons are immune to magic?! Since this is the King of Dragons, any spell you send at him will bounce back! Ron: I'd like to see you do better! Percy: Can't! I'm still tied to the chair! King Dragon: ROAR! *Breathes fire* Ron: *unties Percy* NOW DO SOMETHING! Percy: Can't. I just told you all that I knew about Dragons. I say we run. Ron: AURG!!! Couldn't it have been Charlie that was tied to the chair? Ron and Percy look at each other, then run in the opposite direction of King Dragon
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Post by ~*~SONYA~*~ on Dec 7, 2003 23:41:34 GMT -5
**The King Dragon calls after them** "wait....please don't leave" ron and percy look around surprised. the voice sounded like Mr.Weasley. suddenly they were surrounded by other dragons, all of which had voices of the Weasley family. "what happened?" ron asked. 'we really are ur family." answered the dragons"you have to believe us."
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Post by HikariHeart on Dec 8, 2003 0:43:14 GMT -5
In the Cadillac:
Volde/Harry/Herm: 99 bottles of Buttlebeer on the wall, 99 bottles of Butterbeer on the wall, take one down, pass it around, 98 bottles of Butterbeer on the wall…<br>In the Cave:
Ron and Percy blink Ron/Percy: You're...our…real...family…<br>Arthur Dragon: Yes. Ron: If you're our family Twin Dragons: Which we are... Percy: Then how are we human Molly Dragon: Which you are Ron: and you're dragons. Bill Dragon: Which we are. Percy: How is this possible? Charlie Dragon: Several years ago, a red hair couple came in here and stole an egg from Mom and Dad. When it hatched, they changed him human and named him Percy. Percy: ……. Charlie Dragon: The red hair couple also come back four years later and stole another egg, when this one hatched, they changed him human and named him Ron. Ron: ……. Arthur Dragon: Apparently, this red haired couple had lost two of their children to an evil man named Lord Voldemort, Percy: *flinches* Arthur Dragon: and the wished to replace them. Percy: And even though this is almost certainly impossible, Ron: It makes sense... Percy: I'm really tired of this people miss-match. Molly Dragon: We wanted to steal you back, but the Almighty JKR said you two would be needed and forbid us from interacting with you. Unless, you came to us on your own or by chance…<br>Ron: Which we did... Twin Dragons: We still cannot turn you back into Dragons, but we can accompany you guys now. Percy: *looks at Ron* This gets weirder and weirder. Ginny Dragon: BIG BROTHERS! *hugs Ron and Percy* Percy and Ron can't breathe Arthur Dragon: uuum...Ginny, dear...I think your choking them. Ginny Dragon: Sorry, Dad. *lets go of Ron and Percy* Ron: But why do you guys have the Great JKR's Sixth Book? Arthur Dragon: She asked us to guard it. There's this group of Rabid fans who are trying to steal it from us. Percy: *flinches* I hate rabid fans. Ron: So...what now? Molly Dragon: How about some family bonding time? Ron: Can we bond over killing Barry? I need to get back at him for tricking me into believing he was Harry. Arthur Dragon: Sure! Plus, now we can get back at the red-hair couple for stealing you two. Molly Dragon: Here. *Hands Ron JKR's Sixth Book* Put this in your backpack. Ron: *puts the book into his backpack* Thanks! *hops onto Molly Dragon's back* TO HOGWARTS! Percy: *Hops onto Arthur Dragon's back* This has got to be the weirdest year of my life...
In the Cadillac:
Volde/Harry/Herm: 56 bottles of Butterbeer on the wall, 56 bottles of Butterbeer on the wall, take one down, pass it around, 55 bottles of beer on the wall.
At the Order:
Dumble: ALL MIGHT J.K. ROWLING WE CALL UPON YOU FOR GUIDANCE! Flashing lights. JKR: Who dares disturb my sleep? Remus: We do! The Order of the Pheonix wish to ask your help! JKR: Speak now. Snape: Pseudo-Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, and the Dark Lord Voldemort are one 14 Errands that you gave them in exchange for Pseudo-Harry's life! JKR: That's mostly correct. Bill: We wish to know if you'll be angry at us if we are to interfere! JKR: I shall not, but the question is when the truth is discovered, will you be angry that you interfered? Charlie: What? JKR: I have answered your question, now I leave with one warning. *Points at Molly and Arthur* Those which you have stolen have been reclaimed by the ones you stole from and they shall seek. *Poof* Bill/Charlie: *looks at their parents* What did she mean? Remus: That's a good question, what did she mean by 'when the truth is discovered, will you be angry that you interfered?' Snape: She meant that not all is what it seems. Remus: Duh. Dumble: Our interference will cause the death of pseudo-Harry. I think we should talk to Harry and maybe then we can discover the truth she talked about.
In the Cadillac:
Volde/Harry/Herm: 1 bottle of Butterbeer on the wall, 1 bottle of Butterbeer on the wall, take one down, pass it around, 0 bottles of Butterbeer on the wall. Harry: We're here!!!! Volde, Harry, and Herm all get out of the car as Ron, Percy, and their Dragon family arrive. Ron: *points his wand at Harry* Are you the real Harry? Harry: I'm the real Harry, Ron. Ron: The pseudo-Harry that we sent to St. Mungos that is really the true Harry or the true Harry that is really pseudo-Harry who is at Hogwarts? Volde/Harry/Herm: What? Percy: What my brother is trying to say is that are you Harry who was sent to St. Mungos? Volde/Harry/Herm: Ohhh…<br>Harry: Yes. Ron: HARRY!!! *hugs Harry* I'm so sorry for thinking that you were'nt Harry even though you were and I sent you to St. Mungos! Volde: *eyes Hogwarts* Harry: uuum...Good to see you too Ron, but what's with the Dragons? Ron: Oh, Harry...I'd like to introduce you to Percy's and my real family. Harry/Herm: *eyes widen* But their Dragons! And your real family is the Weasley's! Percy/Ron/Dragons: No they aren't! And it's a really long story... Ron: Can't we talk about it later? I really want to destroy Barry. Volde: Plus we do need the map to Atlantis. Dragons: We really want to get back at the red hair couple! Percy: It would be kind of cool to take over Hogwarts. Harry: I would like to finish the quests so JKR doesn't kill me! Herm:…Am I the only one who doesn't have some pressing matters that she wants to do that is directly linked to taking over Hogwarts? Harry: What about proving that Crumple-Horned Snorkacks don't really exist? Herm: *brightens* And I would just love to prove that Crumple-Horned Snorkacks don't really exist! Everyone looks at everyone... Everyone: CHARGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *they charge Hogwarts*
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Post by im madmonkey,iX'd out the*man* on Dec 8, 2003 4:33:24 GMT -5
in hogwarts: herm:ill use alohomara to unlock the front doors "Alohomara" volde:AHHHH dumbleydore *runs to the forbidden foredst* everyone stares except volde
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Post by Ginny Potter on Dec 8, 2003 13:26:44 GMT -5
Hey guys: sorry to interlude on the story, but wouldn't it be funny if we sent this to JKR?
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Post by elysium on Dec 8, 2003 20:40:29 GMT -5
LOL, I actually considered that once... we should, or at least post it on fanfiction.net.
I have an account there, I could upload it and post it written by The HPR Gang.
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Post by musicchc43 on Dec 8, 2003 22:08:44 GMT -5
lol that would be sooooo funny if JKR read this lol! If you do put it on fanfiction.net make sure that you make a warning lable for it like this...
WARNING: this story contains things that JKR was planning to put in her Harry Potter series but never got around to adding in the middle of her complicated plot. We encourage you to have an open mind when reading this.
lol
Anyways ...back to the story...............
Hermione: Darn it ! Now that Voldemort has ran off we don't know where to find the map of Atlantis! Harry: Aha! you're wrong again Hermione! *takes old looking scrap of parchment out of pocket* I have the marauder's map with me, which i myseriously got back after my fourth year without any mention in the book. *taps map* I solemnly swear I am up to no good. Hermione: Look right there it says....uhh...map of atlantis here! *she points to the marauder's map where it says 'map of atlantis here'* Ron: Apparently it's in the room behind the teacher's table in the Great Hall! Ya know that room that you had to go into during our 4th year when your name was spit out of the Goblet of Fire!!! Hermione: Ron *flutters eyes* Do you remember our fourth year *says in flirty voice* remember you being so jealous about Krum Ron: I wasn't jelous! Hermione: and the Yule Ball and... *thinking of all these things from the 4th year makes ron swing Hermione into a Romantic Dip and kiss her* *Harry continues looking at the marauder's map* *The twin dragons finally look down to see what's going on and see the map in Harry's hands* Fred and George Dragon: HEY THAT'S OURS! *because they said this in anger fire came out of their nostrils and the fire burns the map in Harry's hands* *Harry, with singed and smoking hair, looks reproachfully at the twin dragons* Fred and George Dragons: oops!....
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Post by HikariHeart on Dec 8, 2003 22:37:15 GMT -5
Actually, we can't post it on Fanfiction.net without risking getting in trouble.
JKR is considered a real person, FFN forbids real people stories....
But who cares?
I'll create another account to post this in, along with our other PRogessives. If it's okay with everyone.
Anyway,
At Hogwarts:
Volde: *comes running* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.... Percy: SHUT THE fkING HELL UP! WE GET THE DAMN POINT!!!!!!!!!! Everyone looks at Percy weirdly. Percy: *glares at everyone* What? Can't I get annoyed? Ron: But...you don't actually do anything about it. YOU'RE PERCY! Percy: So what? Now, can we get back to whatever the hell we're doing? Volde: Harry, that's not the map!!! Harry: Yes it is, this Map says it is. Volde: No! You don't understand! That map in there's a fraud! Anyone who tries to take it will instantly become *whispers in Harry's ear* Harry: THE HORROR!!!! Percy/Ron/Herm/Dragons: What?! Harry: You don't want...to...know... Suddenly, the Order and Barry come smashing in. Percy: *looks at the Order and Barry* Isn't this lovely? More guests. The Order and Barry lift their wands at Harry, Volde, Percy, and the Dragons. Dumble: Don't worry Ron and Herm! We're here to release you from from pseudo-Harry's spell! Arthur: *looks at Percy* First you side with Ministry, now you're a Death Eater?! Percy! How could you?! Percy: *stares at Arthur* Wha...? I'm automatically assumed to be a Death Earter, but Ron and Herm are assumed to be under a spell?! Jeeze...I feel so unloved. Dragons: Hey! At least they're not your real family. Percy: And that actually makes me feel better. *pulls out his wand and points it at Arthur* Harry, Volde, Herm, and Ron also pull out their wands at the same time and point them at different people. The Dragons hiss and breathe fire. JKR: *sits on a ledge, unnoticed, eating popcorn* Man, this is good stuff. Unkown Person #1: *also eating popcorn* What, the popcorn or the fight? JKR: Both. Unkown Person #2: *appears and sits down* Is Sevvie-poo still okay? JKR/Unkown Person #1: He's alive. Unkown Person #2: Good. Unkown Person #3: *sits down next to #2* Are we even allowed to be here? #1: Who cares? #2: Isn't Sevvie-poo cute? *hugs a Plushie of Snape* JKR: I'm still not giving you my sixth book. #1: Now, now, JKR. We are rabid fans, after all...we are Rabid Fans. We don't stop for anything. JKR: I don't have it. #3: We know, but we also know that you know who has it. JKR: How do you know that? #2: You know everything that happens in the HP Universe, now tell us who has the sixth book, or I'll have to take Sevvie-Poo away from you.
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Post by ~*~SONYA~*~ on Dec 8, 2003 22:37:24 GMT -5
suddenly the human ginny shows up from nowhere and looks at the twin dragons oddly. when they tell her the whole story she asks.. "how can there be the exact same human family(minus percy and ron) as the dragon family....when the couple stole ron and percy to replace there 2 sons where were the human Bill and Charlie?
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
oh yeah...and it would be funny if JKR read this..... ;D LOL ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Post by HikariHeart on Dec 8, 2003 22:52:30 GMT -5
On the FFN: I say we go ahead with elsyium's idea. But, elysium, you'll have to post the reviews here.
The Dragons look at human Ginny, then at Bill and Charlie, then at Percy and Ron, then at Arthur and Molly.
Molly: Actually, we didn't steal Ron and Percy, we adopted them from another red hair couple who had dragons on their tales. Arthur: Funny, we adopted from the same couple twice.
On the ledge: #1: This is a soap operaish.
Back in the Room: Percy/Ron/Dragons: Then who were the red hair couple? Dumble: The woman was Lilly's sister's aunt's cousin's neice's nephew's second wife's brother's dentist's mother. The man was Volde's uncle's dad's second cousin once removed's best friend's former roomate's favorite television star's first wife's son-in-law's wife's dad. Everyone cept Dumble: Wha...?
On the ledge: #1: This IS a soap opera....
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Post by ~*~SONYA~*~ on Dec 9, 2003 0:18:22 GMT -5
Ron and Percy hug their Dragon parents and their Human parents crying "so u didn't steal us...u didn't lie...i luv u"
Person#2-Soooooo completely a soap opera....btw JKR wot r u going to do with them..u must no.... ;D
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Post by elysium on Dec 9, 2003 8:24:53 GMT -5
~*Ok, I'll start editing it for spelling. Also, I'm going to take the parts where we all (me especially) wrote Harry: blah blah instead of Harry said, or whatever. I'll have to break it down into chapters too. I'll start right now! I can register a new account under tha name of the HPR Fanfic Writers, or something. Here I go!
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Post by elysium on Dec 9, 2003 8:33:10 GMT -5
Ok, I just set up our account. We are the HPRFanficBunnies. hehe
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Post by HikariHeart on Dec 9, 2003 10:24:55 GMT -5
The parts that we went
"Blah, blah, blah," Harry said, actually need to be changed into
Harry: Blah blah blah.
I think some of those areas actually moved the story along and this story would make less sense without them.
Or is that what you meant?
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