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Post by elysium on Mar 27, 2004 3:29:53 GMT -5
For some reason none of the members can access my column, so I've started this on until we figure out what the problem is.
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Post by bumboozled on Mar 27, 2004 3:39:24 GMT -5
Well I just PMed my message because I didn't know about this column. Please check that for my advice question.
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Post by elysium on Mar 27, 2004 3:40:48 GMT -5
Bumboozled asked:
I recently had a disagreement with someone and now that person doesn't really like me all that much. It mainly came out of a misunderstanding on both of our parts. I said something this person didn't understand, and I didn't necessarily grasp the meaning of what the person said either. I tried to apologize for what had happened, what I said, but didn't really try to explain what I said. Well, given I'm writing this, I still have not found any peace with the person. I was not forgiven and relations have been severed more or less indefinently. Any advice?
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Post by elysium on Mar 27, 2004 3:51:02 GMT -5
Because you both misunderstood eachother, it's very possible that the other person may not actually be mad at you. Maybe, because you misunderstand, that person thinks that whatever you said is much worse than what it really is and you think what they said is much worse than what they really did say. In an argument, people are not satisfied with apologies unless you explain why you said or did what you did. The other person doesn't know what your intentions are, and so they may think you don't like them because maybe what you said to them sounded like you were saying it to hurt they're feelings.
You need to explain what you meant and why you said what you did. Most likely this person will forgive you. I'm not sure what you mean by "severed all ties", but it's never too late to ask for forgiveness. Your leaving without explaining anything was probably what made them angry to begin with. Never hesitate to explain when aplogizing. If you really care enough to apologize, I'm sure you will be forgiven.
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Post by elysium on Mar 27, 2004 20:59:59 GMT -5
Just a quick note: for future reference, please include your age. It's hard to answer relationship questions when I don't know how old you are, so please include them when you post. Thanks, Elysium.
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Post by ZELDA on Apr 3, 2004 23:17:35 GMT -5
Ely, I have a problem.
For an April Fool's joke, my friend pretended she was leavingthe school. We all suspected her, but she seemed so serious! Eventually, we all believed her. Then my other friend started to cry, so they (Friend #1 and her best friend) only told friend#3 (crying) about it, which made me mad cause I felt left out and shunned. I was so mad I started crying and now I don't know if I should trust them again. What do I do?
age level= 11-12 year olds. two 13 year olds
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Post by elysium on Apr 3, 2004 23:44:12 GMT -5
I wouldn't worry about it too much. Most likely, I'd say your friend didn't realize how bad it would make you guys feel, so when she saw your other friend crying about it she felt really bad. I'm sure if you had been the one crying, she would have told you.
It's just April Fool's Day. Personally, I think some people go too far with it, and I know how much preteen and teenage girls like to sensationalize- basically, they like to "make a bang". Your friend (the one who told you the lie) just wanted a reaction, that's all, and the longer it lasted the better, she thought. So she wanted you to keep believing it. I'm sure she was sorry when she saw you crying too. All friends have little fights over "she told her and not me" and "she said this, blah blah blah". I do it with my friends all the time, we're just not very good at communicating yet. So don't worry about, I'm sure your friends didn't mean to really hurt you.
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Post by ZELDA on Apr 4, 2004 13:18:07 GMT -5
Thanks, Ely, I feel better. good advice!
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Post by elysium on Apr 4, 2004 14:24:33 GMT -5
Yay...I didn't ruin your life, how wicked is that?
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Post by meatnmilk on Apr 6, 2004 7:34:16 GMT -5
then your not trying hard enough
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Post by elysium on Apr 6, 2004 7:36:15 GMT -5
You'd be surprised...I just might be good at it. I'm sure my brother can attest to that...
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Post by *HPfan* on Apr 8, 2004 19:39:35 GMT -5
I need some advice!
Ok, I'm a junior in high school and we're signing up for our classes for next year. I've been in advanced English ever since my freshman year and I've been making A's. So, next year, since I'll be in 12th grade, I can take AP English. But, they also have advanced English for 12th graders. I can't decide if I should just stay in advanced English, or if I should try AP English and get college credit. I know a lot of seniors who are taking AP English and they say that that class is so incredibly hard. English is my worst subject and I'm a terrible writer, so I'm not really sure if I wanna take AP. I talked to my English teacher and she said I should take AP. But, I'll be taking other advanced and AP classes, so I dunno...
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Post by elysium on Apr 8, 2004 20:11:21 GMT -5
You absolutely should at least TRY this class. Trust me, it's always better to try than to just give up. And anyway, if your teacher says you can do it, believe her. She has one of the most accurate impressions of your scholatic ability, being as she is your teacher. Also, make an appointment and speak with your academic counselor. Mine has really helped me this year.
Remember also that cliche "Shoot for the moon; if you miss, at least you'll land among the stars." You should always take the highest oppurtunity offered to you, no matter what. Take risks. Sometimes you'll fail, but a lot of the time you'll surprise yourself. I think you'll do well if you can convince yourself that you will. Make sure you feel comfortable talking to the teacher and asking questions.
Of course, I'm not going to lie to you; there's a chance that you'll do horribly, but you cannot let that stand in your way. My parents listen to a lot of country, and one of their songs says (you can tell I like quotes lol) "Life is not tried it is merely survived if you're standing outside the fire." So go for it!
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Post by *HPfan* on Apr 8, 2004 22:36:45 GMT -5
That was good advice. Thanks! I'm gonna sign up for AP English. Next year, I'll probably be coming to this board asking everyone for lots of help on essays, lol.
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Post by elysium on Apr 8, 2004 22:39:07 GMT -5
Good! I've done it, lol. People here are very helpful.
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