Post by Dr. Toodles on Sept 20, 2003 0:23:16 GMT -5
LOCATION:
Toodles' School,
Atlantic Ocean
DATE AND TIME:
March 28, 2043
1:43 A.M.
LOG:
Jump through window and pretend to be a marker while finding how to open the secret compartment behind the whiteboard. Jump inside compartment and grab GROWN-UP RULE #6,487.4! Roll out and unto floor. Fly out of the window again using a jet pack.
GROWN-UP RULE #6,487.4:
Don’t smack your gum while chewing it.
OFFICIAL REASON:
It’s rude and annoying.
THE TRUTH:
Smacking your gum while you’re chewing it may be annoying, but that is not the real reason. The real reason is that we must protect ourselves from the penguins! Underground in the Bahamas there are thousands of giant, blue, ferocious penguins. They hear each and every noise that gum makes. Hearing it reminds them of the world they left behind when they decided to live underground. If they think a lot about their old lives, they get excited and try to find ways to escape. Humans are afraid of this because in the old days when these giant, blue penguins lived among us, there was no peace. Penguins would always be spitting on the little humans. It was quite annoying and would often result in a large group of people drowning in a pile of saliva. Not something one likes to do every day, so the humans tricked the penguins into living underground. At first the penguins were scared of the dark, but then after being alone for so long, they got super powers. They grew even larger then before, they have super night vision, and their hearing got so good that they can here people chewing gum in a whole different planet!
Since the penguins went underground, the human civilization has been afraid of their escape. Previous presidents have struggled long and hard trying to get rid of the penguins somehow, but it is not possible. There is no way to destroy them and if they get mad they sometimes starting jumping up and down causing the world to shake. This is the real cause of earthquakes, but adults had to make up another reason since they don’t want children to get frightened about the blue penguins. Humans have even tried trying to make the penguins hibernate all year long, but while they were asleep their snoring made more noise then any thunder.
List of things to do if you come in contact with one of the monstrous penguins:
1) Make sure you do not go near the parents. The babies will feel obligated to hurt you if they feel their parents could get harmed.
2) Give them any green things that you have because if they see it and it’s not theirs, they will take it at all costs. They love everything and anything that’s green. (This was learned when a man dressed up as broccoli walked by a one of the penguins.)
3) Don’t move slowly. They could mistake you for a snail and step on you. Snails are their worst enemy followed by crickets, Oreos, and then humans.
4) Wear garlic necklaces to ward off evil thoughts from the penguins small little minds.
5) If all else fails, run!!!
Toodles' School,
Atlantic Ocean
DATE AND TIME:
March 28, 2043
1:43 A.M.
LOG:
Jump through window and pretend to be a marker while finding how to open the secret compartment behind the whiteboard. Jump inside compartment and grab GROWN-UP RULE #6,487.4! Roll out and unto floor. Fly out of the window again using a jet pack.
GROWN-UP RULE #6,487.4:
Don’t smack your gum while chewing it.
OFFICIAL REASON:
It’s rude and annoying.
THE TRUTH:
Smacking your gum while you’re chewing it may be annoying, but that is not the real reason. The real reason is that we must protect ourselves from the penguins! Underground in the Bahamas there are thousands of giant, blue, ferocious penguins. They hear each and every noise that gum makes. Hearing it reminds them of the world they left behind when they decided to live underground. If they think a lot about their old lives, they get excited and try to find ways to escape. Humans are afraid of this because in the old days when these giant, blue penguins lived among us, there was no peace. Penguins would always be spitting on the little humans. It was quite annoying and would often result in a large group of people drowning in a pile of saliva. Not something one likes to do every day, so the humans tricked the penguins into living underground. At first the penguins were scared of the dark, but then after being alone for so long, they got super powers. They grew even larger then before, they have super night vision, and their hearing got so good that they can here people chewing gum in a whole different planet!
Since the penguins went underground, the human civilization has been afraid of their escape. Previous presidents have struggled long and hard trying to get rid of the penguins somehow, but it is not possible. There is no way to destroy them and if they get mad they sometimes starting jumping up and down causing the world to shake. This is the real cause of earthquakes, but adults had to make up another reason since they don’t want children to get frightened about the blue penguins. Humans have even tried trying to make the penguins hibernate all year long, but while they were asleep their snoring made more noise then any thunder.
List of things to do if you come in contact with one of the monstrous penguins:
1) Make sure you do not go near the parents. The babies will feel obligated to hurt you if they feel their parents could get harmed.
2) Give them any green things that you have because if they see it and it’s not theirs, they will take it at all costs. They love everything and anything that’s green. (This was learned when a man dressed up as broccoli walked by a one of the penguins.)
3) Don’t move slowly. They could mistake you for a snail and step on you. Snails are their worst enemy followed by crickets, Oreos, and then humans.
4) Wear garlic necklaces to ward off evil thoughts from the penguins small little minds.
5) If all else fails, run!!!
im crying because it was so funny lol ;D
